A Harvest Tale

Dear Wimple,

I am writing to tell you that I will be transitioning into retirement as a gate keeper and torture master of the souls in the fifth Hell. Although I will miss the sweet taste of the soul harvest for our Dark Domain, I find it will be infinitely more satisfying to exact punishment and pain on the ones already within our reach. That said, I have some remaining charges that I will be handing over to you in my stead. There are five of them in total, four of which require very little work on our part as they are trudging along quite nicely to their peril. But the fifth…she has frustrated me greatly. I find myself almost relieved to be rid of her! Below I have detailed her record for you and I must impress upon you that this will be no easy feat. She is a believer in the Great Enemy, and you know as well as I that they tend to be the most stubborn. Nevertheless, there are weaknesses I suggest in this letter that you manipulate to the best of our advantage.

As with all believers, when the mark of his “elect” (disgusting label, in my humble opinion) is on a child at birth we are notified immediately. The significance of this cannot be overlooked. We need to be sure we are focusing our efforts efficiently, and with this one, you most certainly are. Initially when she fell into my lap I was beside myself with glee as I had so longed for a challenge. It has been much too easy lately to harvest and I found myself getting bored. I almost - dare I say it - thought I was losing my talent as an artist! All the great ones have their masterpiece, and I soldiered onward, determined that she would be mine.

By Satan’s divine grace, the Enemy finally made himself known to her at the tender age of five. Now that I had my confirmation of her election I could begin. And Cousin Wimple, I began with vigor.

While I had briefly considered tempting a friend or family member into committing the violation of stealing her innocence –that felt almost too contrived, and as we’ve seen, not always full proof and lacking in originality. Though I probably could have been successful, the Enemy was strategic in having her born into an entire family of believers. No, this one would require something not often done, something genius. It occurred to me that the best way to stop her from pursuing the Enemy would be to pull the rug right out from under her now, before she could even develop a modicum of identity in him or confidence in his existence. I began with the very teachers she had, starting in preschool. Where the Enemy had revealed himself to her and provided her with peace, I was sure to have her teacher criticize her and suggest she lacked intelligence. The cherry on top of the sundae was having her overhear her own mother crying to her father about this very thing, and my Lord below what a seed that planted in her fragile little heart! Doubt and despair had begun to take root.

As I stated before, she was surrounded by an entire family of believers and the Enemy had his minions positioned very well, so I couldn’t reveal myself and I had the constant love and support she was receiving from her loved ones to work against. Much to my dismay, at the age of seven her Grandmother said a prayer with her to that Unpleasant Being and she considered herself saved! Still makes me nauseous when I think about it. But I am not one to be defeated, and I knew that the very plan I had begun could be expanded – perfected, even. Throughout each of her major milestones – beginning with preschool and up to high school, I delivered her into the hands of school instructors that consistently belittled and discouraged her. She was held back from going into first grade, unlike the rest of her peers. In third grade, her teacher accused her of having her parents do her homework for her (not the case clearly, as her birth givers were annoyingly ethical and would never have done so). What did this do, you ask? Why, cousin, it sent a message to her that she was not seen as capable or smart enough to complete the work on her own. It wasn’t enough to have the one seed planted in her as a babe, you see. A trend had to be established, and once it was, she was beyond the reach of even her parents as they attempted to encourage her.

What followed as she continued to age was truly a work of art, if I must say. Anytime she found a friend or mentor who took her under their wing and began to encourage her, I also brought an antagonistic friend or love interest into her life to either distract her from her true calling or tear her down out of jealousy. When she entered a prestigious university and gained confidence, I sent a man into her life to whisk her away with promises of a beautiful life and family. Eventually, they married, and when this fell apart due to his unfaithfulness she would always regret leaving her studies at school for him.

At this time it occurred to me that the Enemy was clearly aware of my plan and had devised something I had not expected as a counter attack. He gave her a baby out of her failed union! And would you believe that this child also had the mark of that wretched label of the elect on her at the time of birth, just like her mother? Incorrigible! Still, all was not lost because at this time she was far away from the Enemy in spirit. When the marriage ended, she made the decision to pack her belongings and her child, moving to the other side of the country to live with her parents. I really couldn’t have asked for a better situation, given her disposition of insecurity, she was already quite discouraged by what she perceived as the ultimate failure of her life. As she began seeking worth from others, I carefully placed people in her path that would intoxicate her with warmth and affection only to use and discard her like garbage. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her, and so that drove her to find herself in the world of horoscopes and psychics. We know we are in the home stretch when a soul seeks its meaning outside of the one who created it.

But then, disaster. I am afraid I severely underestimated the Enemy in this respect. If there is one thing I can stress to you is that these souls are marked as “elect” for a reason. The Unpleasant Ancient of Days will not let go so easily of these ones. I can’t explain it, but my charge started praying. I had miscalculated what her pain would do to her. In her distress, as she cried herself to sleep, she called out to him for deliverance! And you know once he hears the call of his name, he responds. Thus began her return to him. She started reading that awful book he calls his “word”. I almost had her convinced she didn’t really need to go to church, but he impressed himself upon her there, too. I realized that child he had brought her was what she considered a blessing instead of a burden, and she only gave him all the credit for that. She was so full of maternal love for her offspring I could barely stand it, it reminded me so much of him.

Undaunted, I attacked from all angles. I created problems in her friendships, manifested illness in her body leading to hospitalization, plagued her with insomnia and was almost successful in alienating her from her church community. Almost. I now think she had other enemies of ours praying for her, simply because I have no other explanation for her resistance. I leave you with one piece of advice as you take over: she must be discouraged. Whatever you must do to accomplish this, do it. Wherever she attempts to proclaim his confounded gospel, quell that fire. They are never more a threat to us than when they seek to convert others.

Your Disaffected Cousin,

Moonwort