Perfect Harmony

After the first few steps in the Christian life, we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God. - CS Lewis

There are four words I really loathe to hear from other people when they are talking about how they view me, and it is these:

"You are so intense."

Maybe you read that and don't see what the big deal is, but I'll bet more likely that you read that and thought to yourself, yikes, what does that mean? And that is precisely the reason why I don't like being referred to that way. Most of the time when you hear the word "intense", it is not in a complimentary fashion. Typically, you would use it to describe something or someone that is difficult or challenging, such as a workout routine or an exam. In this context, obviously I wouldn't want to be depicted as a difficult or challenging person because that doesn't sound very Christlike. My sweet husband, however, has instead chosen to use the word "passionate" to describe me and it got me thinking about who I am as a person, how God made me, and where I end and He begins. Let me explain.

Lately I have been trying to wrap my mind around the concept that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and understanding what this means in practice as a Christian. Scripture tells us that we are created in God's image while also being different from one another. This implies a unique set of traits is bestowed upon every single person that is living; essentially, there are no two individuals with identical personalities that are alive or have ever been alive. I have never met another person just like me - I have met others who share the same values, sense of humor, perspective and so on - but I have never met anyone just like me. I'm not saying this to suggest I'm some wonderfully special person - I think this is a true statement for all people who are living. Ask yourself when you have ever encountered another human being and found them to be exactly like you, in every way. I'm guessing you won't be able to recall an encounter of that nature. And it is because you (and all of us) are unique. That’s part of intelligent design.

If we are all different, set apart from one another and made by the Lord with certain characteristics, the logical conclusion is that our personalities are good and should be used to glorify the one who made us, right? I say our personalities are "good" not to suggest that there is no sin in them but instead to highlight the fact that there were unique traits to each person that God saw fit to imbed them with, and when used wisely, he calls them good. But where is that line and where do "we" end? I mentioned this verse in my previous blog post, but it holds relevance here as well: 

He must increase; I must decrease. (John 3:30).

I have always thought this verse has a double meaning and applies to our walk with Jesus as well as our spiritual state. We are called to conform to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) which means he must increase within us, and we must decrease. So, my question is this: how much of who we are should remain? When I think of myself, how I am internally and how I am perceived by others, it is not hard for me to find flaws.

I am passionate, but quick to anger.

I am an action taker, but impatient.

I am honest, but too direct.

If you were to take just those first three qualities and leave out the flaws, it sounds like a decent person. Perhaps even traits you would add to your resume to make you stand out for a job. But the flaws? Yeah, no thanks. So, I have been asking myself, how much of me did God make to operate in the body of Christ as he had intended? What parts of me need to die for his work to be complete within me? (Philippians 1:6). This is where the line gets fuzzy and I found myself struggling. When I think of who I should be or how I should behave, the image that materializes in my head is someone of a serene disposition – calm, joyful, kind, helpful. It is not someone intense, passionate, brutally honest or impatient. But I know, and have been told by others, that I do embody those characteristics. The fact remains that I was, in fact, made this way. However, once sin entered the world it muddied the waters, and for every noble quality there exists its opposite, sinful version. I found that I was at a crossroads as a believer. How do I use my passion for God’s glory while also reigning it in when it is not appropriate? How do I marry my tendency to jump into action with also proceeding cautiously and wisely in life’s circumstances? And as I was sitting in church yesterday listening to the sermon, my pastor said something that clicked.

He was discussing the attributes of the believer as mentioned in Colossians:

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12).

How could I forget? The Lord had already given me a blueprint for this, but this was also not the first time he had done so. The verse in Colossians flooded my brain with a memory from years ago just prior to the pandemic. I had been in many conversations with my best friend and sister in Christ, Darbi, about God’s specific calling on my life. And then something happened that had never happened before and has not happened since – one morning Darbi woke up and started her devotions, and God told her he had a word for me that day. It was the following passage from 2 Peter:

 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to^[a] his own glory and excellence,^[b] 4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,^[c] and virtue with knowledge, ⁶ and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, ⁷ and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. ⁸ For if these qualities^[d] are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. ¹⁰ Therefore, brothers,^[e] be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. 

Even reading that now gives me chills. Back then I didn’t quite understand why he had given Darbi that word for me. Was he saying I needed to confirm I was elected? Was it because I wasn’t?! But the Lord being the Lord knew in his infinite wisdom that eventually I was going to make it to the point I am at today – seeking his will with eyes that see and ears that hear.

What I am slowly beginning to grasp is that it is not so much about who we are but our obedience and willingness to be the opposite. It is easy to hide behind a label and use it as an excuse not to do something. For example, I’m an introvert. People tend to exhaust me, and the idea of going into a crowd of folks I don’t know and attempting to network is utterly terrifying. Now, I could rationalize this and say that God just made me as an introvert and I’m better suited to serve in that way, but this negates two things: the first is God’s plan of refinement which involves stretching me outside of my comfort zone, and the second is God’s strength and ability to do what is necessary through me for his glory. This is what true testimony is – the transformation, the renewing of the mind, the softening of the heart. When others see a change in someone that they cannot explain, the only explanation that remains is the work of Christ within them. So, what does this mean? Do we become a shadow of ourselves and a body of diluted believers who all resemble one another so much that differences cannot be seen from the outside? I think the opposite is true. When we submit ourselves to God and no longer allow what we and others have told us about ourselves to dictate what we can and will do, we break the chains that bind us and step into not just how we were truly made by the one who loves us, but greater than that because we are no longer identifying with the limitations of a fallen world.

Every believer was made for a very specific, God-given purpose, and the qualities he chose to give us individually are to be used for that. When we put on the attributes of the Lord, when we become compassionate, meek, humble, kind and patient, it is then that how we are made exists with God’s will for us as image bearers. What does this mean?

It means that I can be passionate in my love for others, but slow to anger.

I can be an action taker who operates with discernment in prayer first.

And I can be honest while remaining kind.

The sacrifice of our savior and the promise of our Lord to finish the work he began in us makes this possible – it is the only thing that does. God’s creation living in perfect harmony, just as he intended.